Carl, Ellie and Naise Life

I grew up in a Lutheran home. My dad's parents regularly attended St. James Lutheran in Scottsbluff. We regularly attended St. James Lutheran in Garden. We'd go to their church when we were visiting, they'd go to ours when they visited. I attended Sunday School every time. I sat in service every Sunday with my Children's bulletin and busy bag propped on the pew as I kneeled on the floor. I attended VBS every summer. I also sang in the children's choir. When I was seven, my Grandpa passed away. (For those that don't know, I am very much a Grandpa & Granddad's little Mandy girl.) Shortly after, church became traumatizing for my seven-year-old mind. Our pastor went through a bitter divorce, which he took out on the congregation, "damning us all to hell" every Sunday. My parents abruptly stopped attending after the second or third Sunday of this type of speak. We continued to attend church with Grandma when we went up to Nebraska, but we never went...

Post Warning: This post has been deemed TMI, but I need to write it down. Stop reading if you don't like dealing with the AF. I'm a few days late, but it's here: National Infertility Awareness Week. Until recently, I didn't even know this week existed. But now, I know and I'm part of this week. In honor of that, here is a symbol that I find meaningful during this time. I'm too scared to post it as my Facebook profile picture because I don't know that I want the whole world yet to know that we are in this boat. It's hard enough as it is... Last night was a rough one for me. I had found out at work that my Daddy's oldest brother was in the hospital for possible renal failure. I didn't handle it well, as I'm not ready to have to say "See you soon" to uncles/aunts, yet I know he is 78 years old and it's a possibility any time. I was dealing with that. I'm also dealing with reproductive issues -- aside from the "norm...

Brandon and I didn't start really trying  for a baby until we moved to Eureka. We stopped using protection and nothing happened. In those two years, I just chalked it up to not trying at the "right time" or stress from living in a town so small that I disliked deeply. When we moved to Pratt three years ago, I finally told myself it was time to get set up with a doctor and start doing the yearly womanly thing regularly, as I had been avoiding it up to that point. I found a doctor in Wichita at a clinic that was staffed only by women. That was a relief, as I'm not 100% sold on a male gyno. I went in and began to ask questions that first time. That was November of 2012.  I went in for fasting labs and a general pelvic exam. I was brought back in December after a phone call that let me know I wasn't producing enough progesterone to show any sign of ovulation. I was scared at that point. I knew ovulation was kind of important in order to have a baby. I went in for a ...