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Back to the Beginning

The potential for stay-at-home for 30 days is looming. I have three work days left on maternity leave at this point and am scheduled to only be in the office next Thursday while working from home Wednesday and Friday. My anxiety has slowly risen with each passing day. I am experiencing postpartum depression at the same time. So not only am I back on my antidepressant, I know I need to do some self-care to help suppress the rising worries within.  My plan includes reading the Word, journaling and praying each evening after putting Naise to bed. I will watch Disney+ or Netflix when I need. I will read. And I will blog once a week, even if it ends up not being my best writing.  So, here I am at 545a, writing the first post of my new plan. I chose to title it as I did because I am strictly going to take random questions from "quizzes" you see floating around Facebook so that you, my lovely readers, can get to know me better. Some of this you may know. Some of this may be co...
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The Long Journey to Get Here

As I sit in my office for one of my last days for the next couple of months, I cannot help but look back over the past almost nine months.  Ever since we found out we were pregnant in May, it has been very difficult for me to write anything down or even form the right words to express how I had been/am feeling.  It may have been partially out of the disbelief that this was really happening.  Or it may have been out the disbelief that one treatment with the specialist worked and not having to do multiple treatments.  Or it may have been as simple as this big of a blessing fought for for so long took every word I could even think to write completely out of my head. Here are a few of the reflections that I have had over the past couple of days from our journey: ~Early on, I spent countless days or nights waiting for the moment when I woke up from this surreal blessing to find it was only a dream. ~I spent my graduation with my Master's degree knowing that I was a M...
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Giving Up for Lent

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I have always given up something during Lent.  It has never been something truly deep - soda, coffee, cookies, etc.  It was always something that I could reach out and hold and if I slipped up, I would just move on and pretend like it did not happen.  This year, I wanted to do something different.  I wanted to give up something that would not only make me healthier, but also make me closer to God.  It is a new season for me - one of finding what He wants for me rather than what I want for myself.  I attribute this new season to our fertility specialist because, for the first time in forever (yes, Disney reference right there), I have true hope that we are on the right path and we are going to be parents soon. So...what did I give up this Lenten season?  I gave up negative self-talk -- aka my inner critic.  For me, my inner critic sounds a lot like two people depending on the situation.  The first is my mom.  For those of you who ha...
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