Not _______ Enough....


Here I stand, once again, and I have to admit that staring into her eyes is the most difficult thing I have to do.  

You're not pretty enough.  

Your eyes are too close together.  

You have your grandmother's double chin.  

Your rosacea is annoying.  

Your hair is a disaster. 

 You are fat.  

You'll never be good enough.  

The constant conversations that take place when staring into her eyes is tiring and emotional.  The eyes I have to stare into are my own.  And that conversation takes place on a daily basis, sometimes multiple times a day.

Today is no different.

Infertility.  You're a failure.  Your anorexic days could be biting you in the butt right now.  Your weight now is hurting you in this.  Why won't you get off your fat butt and do something to fix it more than what you are doing?  Who are you kidding you'll be a terrible mother...

Depending on the day, these conversations are heart-wrenching.
Today...today is different.
I stared into her eyes again and said that it was enough.
The enemy always knows how to get to me and he was trying again.
This week is National Infertility Awareness Week.
Infertility is always on my mind.  It never leaves.
But I can do better for myself.
The enemy thinks he has won with those conversations.
Some days, he does have those brief wins.
Today, he lost.

As I stared into her eyes this evening, I realized....
You have a warm and welcoming smile.
You have caring eyes.
You have a sensitive soul.
You will be a terrific mother.
He has a plan for you in this.
Patience, Mandy, patience.
Your time will come.

I'll end this with these final thoughts...
To those struggling with the tough conversations with yourself - believe that you are worth more than the enemy is trying to make you think you aren't worth.  Know that you are worth more than diamonds to God and that His plan is worth the wait, even when it hurts.








Comments

  1. UnknownApril 28, 2016 at 6:09 AM

    Amen! Such great encouragement! This is a message that people need to hear every day. I appreciate your willingness to share your heart, friend. Continually praying for you and Brandon.

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownApril 28, 2016 at 6:10 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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