This Is Me

This is a new chapter for us - 2018. I have 34 previous chapters that have ranged from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows, but the start of my 35th chapter is this year (my 35th birthday is only a couple of weeks away).  As I have said in the past, I am one who finds that music speaks to different phases in my life.  This year, 2018, is no different.  I have not seen this movie yet, but definitely want to...but this particular song is my 2018 anthem.  It has been on loop since I heard it.  Which, by the way, was yesterday...that is how powerful this song grasped me.  Before I really begin writing, I really want you to watch this video, or listen to it and read the lyrics below.  Then I'll "come back."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLFEvHWD_NE 

This Is Me

I am not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say
'Cause we don't want your broken parts
I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say
No one'll love you as you are

[Pre-Chorus]
But I won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious

[Chorus]
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

[Post-Chorus]
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh

Another round of bullets hits my skin
Well, fire away 'cause today, I won't let the shame sink in
We are bursting through the barricades
And reading for the sun (we are warriors)
Yeah, that's what we've become

[Pre-Chorus...Chorus...Post-Chorus]

[Bridge]
And I know that I deserve your love
There's nothing I'm not worthy of
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
This is brave, this is bruised
This is who I'm meant to be, this is me

[Chorus]

[Outro]
(Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh)
I'm gonna send a flood
Gonna drown them out
(Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, this is me)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Am I right?!  

I constantly struggle with shame, with doubt, with fear, with not feeling like I belong.  But I am loved...regardless of what I did in my past, what I have done presently, what I will probably do in the future.  The enemy tries so hard to wedge in.  That is where the shame and the doubt and the fear come from. He feeds those insecurities and breathes "life" into them, to try to keep me from the One who breathes true life into me, who sent His son to die for me.  

So when we struggle with feeling like we don't belong, we need to remember that we do belong, just not to the world.  In John 15:19, Jesus tells us "If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own.  As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.  That is why the world hates you." (NIV).  I also love what The Message says: "If you find the godless world is hating you, remember it got its start hating me.  If you lived on the world's terms, the world would love you as one of its own.  But since I picked you to live on God's terms and no longer on the world's terms, the world is going to hate you."

This verse is one of my two verses for 2018.  I'm going to remember those words that Jesus gave to us to remind me that I may not belong or feel like I do down here, but I do belong with Him.  The song plays into this.  The Pre-Chorus...look back at it.  God made us glorious and in His image.  He made me who I am.  I am a daughter of the King.  I am a wife.   I am a mommy.  I am a friend.  This is me.
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