My Dark Day
PATTY: So, the 30th is the dark day
LORELAI: [dropping her bag again] What dark day?
PATTY: Luke's dark day. The day that he disappears.
.....
Today is that day for me. My dark day. I wish I could just take off work and disappear for the day. Heck, even starting the night before.
My dark day began on November 15, 1990.
I was sitting in Mrs. Litzenberger's second grade classroom that Thursday morning. As I was at the language arts station, the intercom sounded. The secretary announced that my Mom was on her way and some code phrase (that had been chosen at the beginning of the school year unbeknownst to me). Mrs. Litzenberger told me to go get my backpack and coat off the hook and get ready to get some homework gathered up. Oblivious to what was going on at that moment, I remember walking over to my cubby, grabbing my backpack and my coat and putting them on my desk. Not too long after the announcement was made, my Mom walked into the room with my little sister. Mrs. Litzenberger had a short discussion while I began packing away enough classwork to last me what seemed like the rest of the school year. Mom told me to say bye to my friends and that I'd see them after Thanksgiving, which was the next week.
As we got home, my Dad's car was in the garage and he was waiting with the suitcases to load up. While Mom and Dad loaded the car, I was asked to make sure that both Becky and I used the restroom and grabbed a pillow, blanket, and a stuffed animal. We did as we were asked, still unsure of why we were doing what we were doing. As we walked back out to the car, my Aunt Janet drove up and asked if there was anything more that she could do other than get the mail and newspaper. We loaded the car with Buster, our beagle/terrier mix dog, and took off. Shortly after we pulled out of Garden, I finally asked what we were doing. Mom turned in her seat to look at Becky and me and said that Grandpa had gotten pretty sick, so we were just taking a little longer of a Thanksgiving break to go spend time with him and help Grandma out at the house.
Seven (looonnnggg) hours later, we pulled up at Grandpa and Grandma's house in Scottsbluff. No one was home, which meant that Grandma was at the nursing home with Grandpa. After unloading our luggage and leaving Buster in the backyard to roam, we took off for the home. I was so excited to see Grandpa. We had just seen them a couple of weekends prior, but he was one of my two favorite people in the world at that time, so seeing him again and for as long as we were going to get to...I was one ecstatic seven-year-old. We got into the nursing home, only to remember that they had moved his room since the previous visit. As Mom and Dad asked a nurse where Dave Cottrell was, she got a concerned look and asked "why" we wanted to know. Mom, to this day, says that had she realized why the nurse was asking, she wouldn't have taken Becky and I back.
The room number was given and I took off. It was my thing to run in and jump in the bed or on the chair with Grandpa and give him a 'Mandy hug'. I didn't even pay attention to my Grandma and Uncle Gary in the corner crying when I burst in the room. But Grandpa didn't wake up. Grandpa didn't talk to me. He laid there peacefully. As my Dad walked in, he immediately knew and hugged my Mom before going to Grandma and Uncle Gary. Uncle Gary let Dad take over with Grandma and he came over to me. All I remember at that point was being told that Grandpa was gone and was up in heaven. I had been to funerals before, but it is hard for a seven-year-old to grasp her own being gone. Mom was holding Becky and I wrapped my little arms around my Uncle's neck and he picked me up. Tears streamed out of my eyes. After a little while, Grandma pulled Becky and me to her lap in Grandpa's chair. She told us that he loved us very much and we were his pride and joy. She told us that he would be with us from that day forward, wherever we go.
....
It has been 26 years today. Each year, it never seems to get easier for me. Many times I have felt cheated out of time with him. He was taken from his only two grandchildren (yes, he counted my cousins, but they were his step-grandchildren...we were his) too soon. And though I still get upset at that thought, I had seven years with him. That's more than some people ever got with their grandparents. For that, I'm so thankful. So tonight, as my own little tradition, I'll put in his cassette tapes -- he was blind, so our "letters" were recorded on cassettes and he recorded his life story for Becky and me -- and hear his sweet voice once again...the one that I miss so much and cannot wait to hear again someday. I'll cry throughout the day, but I'll never forget.
....
LUKE: See there's a reason I stay away from people on this particular day. It's because I suck.
....
Grandpa, You may be gone from my sight...But you are never gone from my heart. I miss you every day. I was so blessed to have had you with me, even if it was for only seven years. I cannot wait to see you again. All my love, Mandy
LORELAI: [dropping her bag again] What dark day?
PATTY: Luke's dark day. The day that he disappears.
.....
Today is that day for me. My dark day. I wish I could just take off work and disappear for the day. Heck, even starting the night before.
My dark day began on November 15, 1990.
I was sitting in Mrs. Litzenberger's second grade classroom that Thursday morning. As I was at the language arts station, the intercom sounded. The secretary announced that my Mom was on her way and some code phrase (that had been chosen at the beginning of the school year unbeknownst to me). Mrs. Litzenberger told me to go get my backpack and coat off the hook and get ready to get some homework gathered up. Oblivious to what was going on at that moment, I remember walking over to my cubby, grabbing my backpack and my coat and putting them on my desk. Not too long after the announcement was made, my Mom walked into the room with my little sister. Mrs. Litzenberger had a short discussion while I began packing away enough classwork to last me what seemed like the rest of the school year. Mom told me to say bye to my friends and that I'd see them after Thanksgiving, which was the next week.
As we got home, my Dad's car was in the garage and he was waiting with the suitcases to load up. While Mom and Dad loaded the car, I was asked to make sure that both Becky and I used the restroom and grabbed a pillow, blanket, and a stuffed animal. We did as we were asked, still unsure of why we were doing what we were doing. As we walked back out to the car, my Aunt Janet drove up and asked if there was anything more that she could do other than get the mail and newspaper. We loaded the car with Buster, our beagle/terrier mix dog, and took off. Shortly after we pulled out of Garden, I finally asked what we were doing. Mom turned in her seat to look at Becky and me and said that Grandpa had gotten pretty sick, so we were just taking a little longer of a Thanksgiving break to go spend time with him and help Grandma out at the house.
Seven (looonnnggg) hours later, we pulled up at Grandpa and Grandma's house in Scottsbluff. No one was home, which meant that Grandma was at the nursing home with Grandpa. After unloading our luggage and leaving Buster in the backyard to roam, we took off for the home. I was so excited to see Grandpa. We had just seen them a couple of weekends prior, but he was one of my two favorite people in the world at that time, so seeing him again and for as long as we were going to get to...I was one ecstatic seven-year-old. We got into the nursing home, only to remember that they had moved his room since the previous visit. As Mom and Dad asked a nurse where Dave Cottrell was, she got a concerned look and asked "why" we wanted to know. Mom, to this day, says that had she realized why the nurse was asking, she wouldn't have taken Becky and I back.
The room number was given and I took off. It was my thing to run in and jump in the bed or on the chair with Grandpa and give him a 'Mandy hug'. I didn't even pay attention to my Grandma and Uncle Gary in the corner crying when I burst in the room. But Grandpa didn't wake up. Grandpa didn't talk to me. He laid there peacefully. As my Dad walked in, he immediately knew and hugged my Mom before going to Grandma and Uncle Gary. Uncle Gary let Dad take over with Grandma and he came over to me. All I remember at that point was being told that Grandpa was gone and was up in heaven. I had been to funerals before, but it is hard for a seven-year-old to grasp her own being gone. Mom was holding Becky and I wrapped my little arms around my Uncle's neck and he picked me up. Tears streamed out of my eyes. After a little while, Grandma pulled Becky and me to her lap in Grandpa's chair. She told us that he loved us very much and we were his pride and joy. She told us that he would be with us from that day forward, wherever we go.
....
It has been 26 years today. Each year, it never seems to get easier for me. Many times I have felt cheated out of time with him. He was taken from his only two grandchildren (yes, he counted my cousins, but they were his step-grandchildren...we were his) too soon. And though I still get upset at that thought, I had seven years with him. That's more than some people ever got with their grandparents. For that, I'm so thankful. So tonight, as my own little tradition, I'll put in his cassette tapes -- he was blind, so our "letters" were recorded on cassettes and he recorded his life story for Becky and me -- and hear his sweet voice once again...the one that I miss so much and cannot wait to hear again someday. I'll cry throughout the day, but I'll never forget.
....
LUKE: See there's a reason I stay away from people on this particular day. It's because I suck.
....
Grandpa, You may be gone from my sight...But you are never gone from my heart. I miss you every day. I was so blessed to have had you with me, even if it was for only seven years. I cannot wait to see you again. All my love, Mandy
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